Counting Sheep

One Night In London (Pt 2)

2007-02-19T20:16:00.000Z

So "J" was away coaching one of the guys on a 1-1 session. 4 of us, "M," "Sn," "St" and myself were left to fend for ourselves after the 5th guy left. "M" started the ball rolling by pulling some random girls into our group on the dance floor. He seemed pretty capable by himself, so Sn, St and I broke off to try out some of the stuff we've learned at the seminars (i.e. No Fear).

Sn was The Man. As we walked past these two girls (a blonde and a brunette) who were dancing with another buncha blokes, he just interrupted them, and pulled me into the group along with him, introducing me to the brunette. I took it that he was interested in the blonde, so I began talking to the brunette. The brunette (can't remember her name, sorry folks) was actually quite receptive...

She told us they were from Holland, and were here for a week on holiday (hmm, seems to be a recurring trend in London). She was visiting the blonde who was giving Sn a pretty hard time (she apparently told him that she can't speak English), and was just out to have a good time. I liked her, she was attractive, fun-loving and open to conversation. Nice.

Dunno what happened, but they left the guys they were dancing with and joined Sn and I (I didn't see St anywhere at that point). It has to be said, Sn is a tall, dark, handsome fella so all kudos to him. I ended up with the blonde who was definitely less friendly, and therefore less attractive... but Sn seemed to be getting along v well with the brunette, so...

To cut a long story short, I started well, but eventually bombed with the blonde. I got past her initial unfriendliness by being fun, but ended up buying her a drink (which is a definite "no" in the rulebook) at which point I've become one of the "other stupid guys in the club." Doh! Exited hastily. Tried a few more sets on my own, to varying degrees of success.

That's when I walked past "Db." He was in the middle of a 2 set, so I was just walking past to slap him on the back and say hi, but he pulled me into the set (Thanks Db!). He introduced me to the 2 Russians, and when he seemed to settle for the one on the right "Y", I fell into conversation with the one on the left "J."

I talked about them being sisters (which they apparently were... but actually, they weren't), read her palms, told her fortune, and just had a bit of a laugh. She seemed to be enjoying it (I didn't feel any resistance, unlike the other sets), and she seemed genuinely interesting too. Bit of a bookworm, not a clubber like her sis (at this point, I'm taking all this with a pinch of salt. This is London! And this is a club! And she's here!), and really uncomfortable in her heels. I managed to clinch her number! A first for me in the community!

Db was doing really well too. We swapped partners, and I danced with "Y" a bit (she was getting harrassed by this drunk fella, so I stepped in to help her out), she seemed to like that too. So Db suggested we all head out for some ice cream. Good move! 15 mins later "J" and i were feeding each other ice cream...

Db was my 2nd master that night. This guy was funny, cocky, and he was getting the girls to eat out of his fingers (he had got both their numbers before I approached the set!). He was holding hands with "Y," laughing and joking along the way. He led the way, and I couldn't be happier to follow. "J" must have felt peer pressure coz she was going along with this, but on me. I managed to kiss em both goodbye too!

On a more critical side, I don't think "J" was that interested in me. I asked her some general questions, and she clammed up (although she really opened up about work... how she dislikes it!). She was having a good time, as was I, but was more "along for the ride" than "wanting the ride" if you get my drift. Still, like I said in my first post... very educational!

One Night in London (Pt 1)

2007-02-12T23:11:00.000Z

The Sheep had a very educational weekend. See, the Sheep is a pretty average guy. On a "looks" scale of 1 - 10, he probably hovers between 4-5 (from a Western perspective), and 5-6 (from an Asian perspective, a result of average height differentials).

And as long time readers already know, he is completely inept when it comes to picking up the opposite sex, having only had 1 long term relationship (18 months), and a few really short ones that don't really count.

When one is faced with an obstacle, there are three stark choices. Find a way around/through. Turn around. Or give up. For an insurmountable obstacle like women, I have been on the verge of giving up. But then i found a community of men who have apparently cracked the game of picking up women.

So last Saturday, I attended a conference run (for free, bless their souls) by these guys. I was very, very sceptical. The tutors were generally good looking fellas, they didn't need any "skills." The seminars seemed sound in theory, but I doubted that it would work for an average joe like me. Actually, I have it worse than the average joe, being 5' 7 and all...

Then night came and we were broken up into groups of 4/5, tied to a "master." These masters took us into town to show us what they can do. My group's master was a Spanish man called "J." He was brimming with energy, dressed all in black, and was bursting with exuberant confidence.

The immediate thing I noticed was how he did not flinch when approaching women. No nerves were apparent (although I'm sure, like any normal man would, he felt it). He pulled a set of 4 girls into the club with us. I stood around like the chump I was, wondering what to say. This would not be my first "chump" moment...

So into the club we went. We headed for the dance floor and I felt quite self-conscious. "What the heck? A bunch of blokes dancing is supposed to pick women up??" But then "J" started to make us have fun, which drew the curiosity of the people near us, including a couple of girls who voluntarily joined us for awhile.

"J" dragged me (literally) to the bar to chat with the 4 girls who came in with us. I managed to talk to one of them for about 5 mins. All the while, I felt really unwelcome, and really self conscious... "They don't want to talk to me, look at their body language, they're turning away." I exited hastily.

In retrospect, the girl I was talking to seemed mildly receptive. She didn't run, for one. She told me that they were from Sweden, and was visiting London, mainly for shopping. They had not been to the club before, and was quite happy they managed to get in with us for free.

Well, I exited as I was really feeling unwelcome. When "J" was busy with a set of 2 women, us beginners decided to take things into our own hands... embarrassing moments (for me anyway) were to ensue... (to be continued tomorrow... got work in the morning!).

KL and Singapore

2007-02-08T17:08:00.000Z

The Sheep will be spending his last night in South East Asia tonight. Having been pampered with luxurious hotels, fantastic food, company, and weather, it feels quite sad to be leaving. I've met friends and family, reminiscing on old times, the future, our lives and the changes that have occurred since we last met...

I've been working on 2 companies this week, with a 2.5 day visit to each company in each country (Malaysia and Singapore). Hotels wise, KL wins hands down. For less than the price of the Grand Copthorne in Singapore, the Traders Hotel in KL provides comfort, chic, space and service that are unmatched. Photos to come when I'm back in the UK.

I've also been to Zouk in Singapore, one of its most well known clubs. It was a Wednesday night, and the place was packed to the brim with lovely young ladies. Heck, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I felt really out of place there. I felt... dare I say it... old!

Ok, running out of time here with the Internet connection. Gotta hit the sack anyway, lots to do at work tomorrow. More later.

Mid Boss

2007-01-30T21:51:00.000Z

I'm the Mid Boss. That's someone who's kinda-in-charge-but-not-really. We get sh*t piled on us by The Boss, and then we try to pass some of the sh*t down to the Peons, but unfortunately, as the Peons have little to lose, we find that, inevitably, the sh*t sticks to us. That's us, the Mid Bosses of this world.

Still, there are worst places to be Mid Boss-ing. I'm back in Holland/The Netherlands, and I'm now in charge. I report directly to The Boss.

Being a Mid Boss doesn't only mean reporting to The Boss. There's also The Boss At Job 2. And TBAJ3. They all want a piece of your ass to kick, and you have no choice but to oblige. Or quit. Which, in my circumstances, is not an acceptable option.

Still, there are perks. This Mid Boss is flying off to Malaysia and Singapore for a 1 week stint of business (with a serious dose of pleasure, hopefully), starting Friday!

Close Call

2007-01-17T23:13:00.000Z

The Boss, let's call him My Boss (MB) had a call from His Boss, let's call him Big Boss (BB). No, really, this guy is Huge on the Boss Hierarchy.

So MB gets this call from BB. BB is pissed off about something that has occurred in Russia. No, it has nothing to do with Polonium radiation or sushi. In fact, one could argue that it has little to do with us.

But BB was pissed, and the Little ShoeShiners (LSS) around him were taking full opportunity to kick MB's ass.

It was 7pm, I had just wrapped up the day's work at another client. MB calls me. And he sounded pissed off. There goes my "early" night off. MB wants some files. And he wants 'em yesterday. I decided it may be prudent to go pay MB a visit, to see how the shit has hit the fan and how we can clean this shit up.

So I arrive at the main client at 8pm. I was scared shitless... did I f*ck up? Did I completely miss this event in Russia? What's this gonna do to my chances of going to Ozzie? Or NYC? Or Silicon Valley? What about my bonus??

MB was definitely pissed off. He was kinda impressed that I took the initiative to go sort shit out, but only just. So I sorted shit out as MB and my colleague were having trouble finding the relevant documents. I explained that we did procedures A, B and yes, we did C too. No, I don't believe we f*cked up. But please explain what the heck's happened.

In the end, MB agreed that no FUBAR occurred on our end. We did everything we had to, no questions about it. But it's not gonna be enough to clean the shit-scarred fan... we still missed the "Russian Event." Let's hope our contingency plan doesn't find more "Russian Surprises" or we will be SO screwed. Even though we did everything right.

Welcome to the corporate world, BlackSheep. This shit is what you signed up for.

The Sheep's Sevenlives

2007-01-05T23:54:00.000Z

I discovered "the community" late last year when I picked up Style's infamous book. I was sceptical at first, but the name David DeAngelo struck a bell. I remember occassionally flipping through an article written by him on askmen.com. I googled Style and quickly realised he was the real deal: PUAs existed. What the hell was I doing at uni??? I should've been first in line to sign up in the community!

I guess it's never too late. I'm still a frickin' AFC (that's average f****ing chump) at 26, with only one long term relationship under my belt. I get AA (approach anxiety) with every HB (hot babe) that I meet, I run out of things to say at parties, I constantly get AMOG'ed (alpha male of the group blanking me out), I'm a wallflower in social gatherings, my peers are getting married and I'm struggling to start a 2nd relationship! I'm frustrated, depressed and desperate to improve my confidence, my game, and most importantly... my life.

So I trawled the web, looking for a way to climb out of the AFC pit. This year, I will change things. I will fix this problem. I will join the PU community. I will sarge and I will wing and I will learn. I will stop being an AFC. I will sort this aspect of my life out.

That is my resolution for 2007.

(and passing my last exam to become fully qualified!)

Real Life Drama

2006-06-26T22:16:00.000+01:00

Starring:

BlackSheep
The Fake Girlfriend
Young Nastyman
Nastyman's Nice Girlfriend
Nastyman's Cute Sister
The Couple (A and B)
The Kid
The Brokenhearted

Scene 1:

As the train ground to a halt, the Sheep slipped on his red-tinted sunglasses, reflecting the sun's glare as the doors opened. He slung his guitar onto his left shoulder and stepped off the train. He took in a deep breath, preparing himself for the game that was to come, and walked toward the apartment block where his Fake Girlfriend lived.

Scene 2:

Already, Fake Girlfriend had received several phone calls from Young Nastyman. In the past, Fake Girlfriend had an affair with Young Nastyman whilst Young Nastyman's Nice Girlfriend was away on holiday. Fake Girlfriend felt guilty after, and called things off, but Young Nastyman would have none of it.

Young Nastyman's latest attempt was to use his Nice Girlfriend's birthday as an excuse to invite Fake Girlfriend to the party. Hence, the Sheep was called in as the Perfect Candidate to stop Young Nastyman from pestering the Fake Girlfriend.

Guitar and girl in hand, the Sheep and the Fake set off for the restaurant just before the sun set.

Scene 3:

At the restaurant, the Sheep noticed that Young Nastyman had strategically set the seats out so as to seat Fake Girlfriend next to him. His Nice Girlfriend (who, the Sheep is puzzled to admit, looks somewhat more attractice than the Fake), was in fact sitting two seats from Young Nastyman, with Young Nastyman's attractive Cute Sister between her and Young Nastyman like so:

Empty - Empty - YNM - CS - NGF

YNM immediately pulled out the chair next to him for the Fake to sit in... thus began the night's complex tug of war.

Scene 4:

The Sheep could not help but sneak a few glances throughout the night at Young Nastyman's Cute Sister. Damn, she's hot. And the Sheep also noticed that she was sneaking a few glances his way, and smiling every time too. The Sheep felt torn between loyalty to a friend, and baser instincts...

YNM was incessantly hitting on the Fake. So the Sheep decided enough was enough. He whipped out his guitar and sang YNM's girlfriend a birthday ballad, much to the approval of the ladies. YNM was visibly quieter after that. However, little did the Sheep know what he was up against...

To be Continued... (Cue Cheesy Romantic Theme Song)

Substitute

2006-06-04T14:05:00.000+01:00

And here I thought it only happens in movies and teen stories... but an old friend of mine has just asked me to attend a party with her as her boyfriend. It's to do with the... er... "history" she has with a couple there. And basically, to avoid questions about a love triangle involving her and that couple about a year ago, I'm gonna turn up and keep the questions to a minimum.

I'm up for a bit of fun, and there's another party I have to attend anyway that evening. It's awhile away so she must be pretty desperate about going with someone! Anyway, roll on July! Have my exam resits to worry about first though...

User

2006-05-21T23:45:00.000+01:00

The first drops of rain hit the car's bonnet, and as he glanced at the text icon on the flashing screen of his weathered Razr, he knew he was being used.

The patter of raindrops grew heavier, and soon the hypnotic "whup-whup" of the windscreen wipers could be heard above the incessant rantings of the caller on BBC News' World Service. A hint of a smile played on his lips as he read the text. The game was on.

Just as London needed the rain to quench its worst drought in a decade, he needed a night out to quench a long spell of recovery from his last relationship. The problem was that this girl is currently IN a relationship, albeit a long distance one (ah, the ever intractable LDR)

The Sheep had been getting hints of discontent from her, so he decided to take the bait two weeks ago. He asked her out to the movies. She said yes despite not knowing whether it was a one-to-one date, but the Sheep proceeded to call up some friends to go along anyway.

Now it was her turn to ask the Sheep out, and it looked like it would just be the Sheep and her. Just the two of them. He had left the ball in her court to ask others out, but she either couldn't find anyone else willing to go or didn't want to. Either way, it was looking good for the Sheep.

However, in his heart, the Sheep wasn't sure if he wanted to pursue this. The fact that she was taken was one factor. But a second obstructive factor was that he was broke. Exam failure meant that he had to fork out a substantial amount of money to book a resit course for this June.

And finally, the Sheep did not know if this was just his hormones lusting for a good night out. She appeared willing or trusting enough. She gave the Sheep a lift home, stayed over, and shared the same bed with him. But this wasn't a movie, nothing happened, the Sheep remained gentlemanly throughout. Was she hoping for something more? Or was she just looking for a "good friend?"

The skies cleared the next morning, and as he waved goodbye to the girl, the Sheep knew he was being used. But did he care?

Bleedin' Obvious

2006-05-10T23:10:00.000+01:00

Killer should not have been set free...

Well, isn't that bloody obvious??? This guy has been committing crimes since his early years, convicted of rape, and the "human-rights" types let him out. And when he proceeds to claim more victims, what is our reaction? We hold an "inquiry" to find out "what went wrong". And the results? "Whoops, we f*cked up!"

"Administrative blunders" were apparently the cause for the unnecessary loss of lives that ensued. And now the politicians are trying to convince us this is a "complicated" issue.

F*ck that. Keep the bleedin' criminals in jail and ALL complications are resolved. Simple, elegant solution. Strip the rights away from criminals. They renounced their rights when they broke the law.

I mean, how bloody obvious is that???

Picking up the Pieces

2006-05-08T22:23:00.000+01:00

Since my last post, I sat another 2 papers, only to fail one. Argh. No surprises I suppose, I was doing dismally in class... depression really hits all areas of one's life! Still, I was given another go at it, but I've got to pay for the resits, just like the previous paper I failed. That means my family back home will have to go through 2 months without money from me as I have to save for the resits... and with my incredible dad still unemployed, their only hope is for their siblings to help them out with food, rent and other assorted bills.

On another note, I've been listening to Jack Johnson again. First time I heard his songs was about 2/3 years ago, back in uni. Thought his songs were boring (was also listening to Mraz at about the same time). Now... I think there's a chilled out feel to his songs. I see beaches, palm trees, and sunshine whenever I hear them. Still, I think his songs are too similar to each other... hence, after about 4/5 tracks, I still get bored. But "Taylor" is pretty funky to play on the guitar.

Depression Strikes Again

2006-02-26T22:16:00.000Z

I must be the only one who feels depressed after big night outs. As you probably know, dear reader, I attended the company's spring ball at the lovely Natural History Museum, replete with classical musicians, free flowing alcohol, and mock casino tables.

But you know, maybe it's because I'm from a geek at heart, but I ALWAYS feel out of place at social dos like this. Maybe it's coz most people brought guests and I didn't. There were plenty of lovely ladies there... but regular readers will know, I'm terrible with women.

Exhibit 1: Colleague looks ravishing in her silver lined dress and straightened hair... what do i do? I blurt out something about her looking "stunning" and leave it at that, proceeding to the next person who says "hi" to me, when in fact, I really wanted to talk to the stunning gal.

Exhibit 2: Sat at a table where pretty much everyone brought a guest, I find myself gazing into the eyes of a Brazilian beauty. Then I realized it was probably rude to be staring at a colleague's guest. I would've talked to her, but I'd have to shout across a plant...

Exhibit 3: Come on, do you REALLY need more examples? I am a master of social faux pas, period. I wish there was something I could do to change it... normally, I'd laugh it off with jokes and self deprecating humor.

Can't do that now, coz I'm still depressed... I seem to be in a very tiny minority of attendees without guests. Most female colleagues were taken. And I honestly can't think of anyone I could bring next time. Where's love when you need it eh? Man, I need divine intervention with my (lack of) love life. Why wasn't I born looking like Brad Pitt? Argh!

Deja Vu

2006-02-23T23:13:00.000Z

Been off work for about 2 weeks now, but no, this isn't a holiday. I'm working harder than ever, coz it's college time again. Exams are just round the corner in March, roughly 4 weeks away. Brill eh?

Well, I definitely don't wanna fail this one, but I'm not doing as well as I'd like to. Nowhere near the top of class, kinda stuck in the middle, which isn't bad, but it sure isn't good either. Another set of progress results are coming out tomorrow, which should be more "good news."

That aside, I've got a Spring Ball to look forward to this weekend. Sound like high school eh? Unfortunately, it won't be anywhere near as fun. For one, most attendees are either a) married or b) attached. Ah well, let's see what a few beers can do. I'm not optimistic though... my exciting plan for Sunday is to catch up with some home work... sigh.

Still, I'd be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to it. It'll be held in the Natural History Museum no less!

See that Diplo? It prolly won't be standing there after we're done with it this weekend... Beers and fancy bones don't mix!

A Question of Value

2006-02-22T20:16:00.000Z

Damn, I wish I have enough luck to get winnings like these!

$365m, shared by 8 people!

Bit O Math

After tax, these guys will be getting $15.5m each. This struck me as strangely low, and procrastinating from studies (yes, it's exam season for me again), I decided to dig into this a bit more. 8 people won the lottery, so the total winnings sum to $124m. In the UK, lottery winnings are not taxed, but apparently the US federal tax on winnings is a shocking 38%! So, this brings the total pre-tax winnings to $200m (124/0.62). Where'd the other $165m go??

Bit More Math

At first glance, it looks like our winners have let go of $165m in order to satisfy their immediate hunger for riches. So what would the amount have been if the winners decided to take the winnings in instalments? It turns out that the discrepancy is only due to annuities. The $200m they have now, is worth about $365m in 30 years time, if inflation stays at about 2% per year (worked out by: 200 x 1.02^30). So there's absolutely no financial advantage to getting the money paid through instalments.

But wait! How much would they have received each year, if they decided to get paid by instalments?

Well, the annuity would have a present value of $200m. So, over 30 years, discounting at the standard UK inflation rate of 2% (hmm, is that a valid indicator? It'll have to be for now), we'll arrive at a discount factor of about 22.396 (1/0.02)*(1-(1/1.02^30)). This means that the annual payments should be about $9m (200/22.396).

So each winner would be able to live on a "salary" of about $1m, in current terms, for the next 30 years of their lives! Not a shabby deal eh? Still, I'd prolly take the cash now, given the choice...

Conclusion?

Now i know why everyone chooses to take up the cash winnings instantly. Great. Back to my books. Sigh.

My Way Or the Highway

2006-02-21T22:14:00.000Z

This continues my views on religion and now freedom of expression. I'm expressing these views with words AND with offensive pictures. So, if you're prone to burning buildings, rioting, violence, kidnappings, suicidal-murderous tendencies, click away now.

Really, turn your eye away because what you'll see WILL offend you. Particularly if you are a firm believer of Islam. So please, for the sake of world peace, look away. Go surf somewhere else. The great thing about CHOICE is that you can CHOOSE NOT TO LOOK!

SO TURN AWAY NOW!

...
...
...

Still here? Then you must be of the "not so easily" offended camp. Cool. Let's continue the discussion then.

There's been a huge farce over the publications of some cartoons. Apparently, these cartoons represent all that is wrong with freedom of speech. These cartoons offend people and should never be published, some say, rather offendedly. Here's an example of one:

(I'm ashamed to say that I actually had to go to the BNP website to obtain these pictures... the very party who'd just as happily kick ME out of the UK. But no mainstream British publication is brave enough to defy Islam)

Hang on a minute. These cartoons are satire right? Isn't the whole point of a satire to make fun of something? And before people say "Why pick on Islam?"

This is an art piece replacing Jesus with a nude woman, and his disciples with a whole buncha geezas. No less offensive to Christians, as it was slammed back in 2001 by the mayor of New York, according to Zardozz. But I don't see flags burning or this:

My point? React. Be offended. But if you are stupid in your reaction, you only prove the point of the cartoon. No amount of flag burning will wipe off the thoughts from non-muslim minds: this religion is irreconcilable to the freedoms we cherish. Actions, as they say, speak so much louder than words.

The Sheep Without a Cause

2006-02-20T22:54:00.000Z

After a decidedly lengthy episode of absence, the Sheep is back with some thoughts on a really thorny issue these days: religion.

Let me first lay out my position, so that the rest of this note becomes more than just a passing commentary. I am agnostic. I have studied mostly science subjects from childhood, but I've had great exposure to both the artistic (in music, in sketching, and in painting) and the spiritual. I've been to temples more than churches, mosques a couple times, and have friends from all major and non major religious backgrounds (including a Mormon!).

And none have managed to convince me that RELIGION is key to our lives. So I have come to the conclusion that I lack faith. So I asked myself WHY.

I guess it's simple. I have faith in science. Science has taught me that belief and faith have to be EARNED. Scientists do not strive to prove a theory, but to disprove it. When countless tests have been conducted, then we begin to believe in the theory. When that theory has been shown to work in all conceivable scenarios, it becomes accepted. Belief is thus earned, and the theory shown to be true in our every day lives.

I went to a church last weekend, on the behest of a friend, and on a personal wish to be proven wrong. The pastor talked about a passage in the Bible. The Bible is the word of God he said at one point. But then he continued to agonize over a statement by Jesus to "hate yourself, your wife, your family" or something along those lines.

He concluded that Jesus was using "shock and awe" to prove a point that being a disciple requires plenty of sacrifice. But I was thinking, "Hang on, that wasn't what he SAID. IF the Bible is the word of God, surely you blaspheme!"

I guess I was being a little strict, but that's beside the point. Islam takes their Koran literally. But these texts are THOUSANDS of years old, in the context of times that are vastly different from today. Why do people choose to follow THEIR lives, THEIR words? Where is the evidence that God created the world in 7 days? Where is the proof?

Having blind faith can lead good men to perform evil deeds (thanks to Channel 4 for that striking thought!). The whole point of religion is to put all questions and doubts about God aside. But man has progressed because he dared to ask questions. She dared to push boundaries. We dared to break free from the shackles of superstition to arrive at where we are today.

Are we to now expected to revert to religion, superstition and prejudice?

The Small Print on Healthy Food

2006-01-22T01:20:00.000Z

I can't live without meat.

Today, I had a stab at the "healthy lifestyle" that we're being bombarded with every second on TV, the papers and magazines. I made myself a generous portion of caesar salad, with slices of chicken ham, cheese, a tomato, an apple, a hard boiled egg, and a lovely cup of green tea. I snarfed it all down, feeling quite pleased with myself.

2 hours later, I'm feeling hungry. So I chock down another piece of apple. Then, 30 mins later, I'm hungry again. So I have a slice of cake. Then, 30 mins later... you get the idea. The thing with healthy food is that it's not as filling as MEAT (aka PROPER food). Trying to stay healthy is EXPENSIVE coz you have to constantly consume this stuff!

I wonder if this is some farmer's conspiracy to make us buy more of their produce... Frickin' hell, I'm hungry again, better go grab something to eat.

Weekend Work

2006-01-14T00:24:00.000Z

Busy season sucks. It means we work Saturdays, and before we know it, Monday's rolled along and the slog begins anew. It's not like I would have done anything productive on Sat, but still, I'd have liked to have a quiet weekend of rest before all the birthdays come along at the end of the month and my weekends fly by in a hazy blur...

Well, there won't be much of those left as my exams are creeping closer with each passing day. It'd be good to get away from work again.

Anyway, I'm disappointed I haven't picked up those rock climbing sessions yet. I've agreed to book early so that we have no further excuses for not going. It'll have to be sometime after the exams.

As for the band sessions, it's been pretty tough to squeeze in a weekend between holidays and busy season. Still, if I want to perform live once again, a lot of practice is needed...

Opinions

2006-01-07T01:48:00.000Z

... are like a**hole*. Everyone's got one and they all stink. Except mine :)

Take this article about the earth being over-crowded.

The esteemed Professor has the gall to suggest that there is a "utopia" threshold that the Earth can support of about 3 billion people. It would seem that he has failed to consider what technological improvements can do to stretch the resources available to us.

His is a pretty sweeping conclusion. Let's just look at one resource: wood. The next factor to consider is human needs, so let's bring in one need: heat. Now let's take a time period, say, 40,000 years ago. Humans would have lived in caves, with fur cloaks, wooden clubs, and basic firepits to keep warm. They would have collected dry or dead wood, broken branches from trees (as they probably weren't able to cut trees down yet) and just pray they'd find scraps around when they needed them.

In that context, Earth could have probably only supported about a million people before it would eventually run out of dead, dry wood lying around the ground. There were probably some old tribal shamen predicting the end of humanity as he could see fallen wood getting scarce. Then some bright geezer came along and invented an axe...

Fast forward to the 21st century. To fulfill our need for heat, we have oil powered plants, coal powered plants, nuclear powered plants, pulp burning plants, waste burning plants, wind powered plants, solar... etc. Our choice of resources from which to extract heat have multiplied ten fold. We weaned ourselves of reliance on one sole source of heat with technological advances. And now, our tribal shamen today are now worried about other things, like over population. Sheesh.

I'm amazed how most people on the BBC forums are suggesting population control to be the appropriate measure to take. It's a completely ridiculous suggestion. Who should decide who lives and who dies? Who should decide who should breed and who shouldn't? Who should decide what numbers from where to preserve? Should selection be on race, age, sex, nationality, or some other criteria pulled out of someone's hat? Who should that someone be? The mere suggestion of pop. control is SO idiotic it makes my blood boil. Can't stand baseless, groundless, unsupportable, and unconsidered opinions masquerading as an important, factual statement of affairs.

2006 arrives

2006-01-03T22:46:00.000Z

No point lamenting the fact that many events have occurred since I last posted. Basically, I spent Christmas in Birmingham with an old friend. It was definitely unlike the Christmases of old.

Christmas Past version 1: Was with girlfriend, having a traditional christmas dinner, showing off my guitar skillz and singing a few xmasy songs.

Christmas Past version 2: With family, kinda apathetic, but was fun messing around with my siblings, and watching their faces light up when they open their presents. And then the long gaming sessions would follow...

Christmas in Birmingham

It was, to sum up in one word, spiritual. My friend's a devout Christian. Not hard-core like... he and I often debate the philosophical points of the religion, and more often than not, he concedes that it is all down to faith, and I am not one to easily have faith in anything.

But, seeing as I was living and eating under his roof (and that I really had nothing else to do), I tagged along.

First, it was a cell group dinner. These cell groups are interesting, composed of mostly people of our age. So I met quite a few people that night, young, vibrant, but definitely not the "up-for-it" sorts!

Then, I attended church (whoah!) and almost fell asleep during the sermon. The singing bit wasn't much better (the lyrics aren't very imaginative... it usually ends up with "Praise the Lord"), but heck, I was there for the ride, so why not try to enjoy it eh.

Invited a couple of girls over (more like they invited themselves over) for a few drinks, movies, games (!) and chat. They were quite interesting. One of them in particular, is not only hot, she also is in the 3rd year of a medical degree. Awesome. Maybe I should go to church where I live...

Anyway, more tomorrow if I have time. Busy season has arrived so I'm not too hopeful...

One small step for the Sheep...

2005-12-19T23:33:00.000Z

... one giant step for womenkind! Watch out for my PimpMobile cruising down your streets ladies, the Sheep has just passed his driving theory test!

Ok, so that's nothing special considering 90% of people in cities drive... duh. But in London, I've never had the need to drive. The tube and buses (when it's not striking, experiencing signal failures, or going through fire alerts and terrorist shootings) actually works quite well.

But it's the job. Frickin throws me everywhere but near home, so I end up commuting long hours or racking up the taxi bills. Besides, it's not really romantic saying to your date "let's take the jubilee line home, switch at Finchley Road to the Met Line and stop off at X for a 15 min walk to my place in Y."

It was a CLOSE pass though. Scored 30 out of 35 (any lower and I'd have failed) for the theory, and 50 out of 75 for the Hazard Perception test (that's a safe margin, considering I've only had one driving lesson, I think this high score is due to my gaming experience... I've driven more than my fair share of tanks, trains, planes, cars, buses, lorries, etc in the virtual world!)

So the next thing is to learn to drive. Take a few lessons, then take the practical test, then I can get a car of the company lease scheme! Alright!

The Material Sheep

2005-12-17T03:42:00.000Z

Surprising how a simple £250 award can make you itch to spend. I've been browsing shops today looking at new clothes, new shoes, new suits, etc... and deciding that, in fact, I'd like to buy 'em all...

Unfortunately, £250 can only get me so far. I've narrowed it down to:

1. Guitar something. Amp/FX box. Need to fix my electric one too.
2. Pair of Timberlands/shiny new work shoes
3. Some clothes during the post Xmas sale.

Anyway, went ice skating today. Was supposed to go the ice bar after (everything was paid already) but a mate of mine fell onto the ice, collided with someone in front of him who promptly dropped onto his head, smashing his face onto the ground. He broke a couple of teeth, messed up his front row teeth, and started bleeding. Not good.

To keep from spoiling the birthday girl's night (and damn, her sister and I had something going I think, bit of a spark there!), and also coz this is my mate who's injured, me and a couple colleagues took a cab with him to a nearby dentist.

The doc fixed him up good, but obviously couldn't stop the swelling. Poor guy's wife is flying in in 4 days... I can't imagine he's too pleased about that... he's a good looking lad, and the ladies fawn over him (bastard, that's why I got him in my band, I hope to catch some distraught fawners he rejects), so he's not used to looking slightly ugly with a swollen cheek and lips.

Anyway, it's late. Gotta wake up in time for shopping and the Kong tomorrow.

Happy but Sad

2005-12-15T02:00:00.000Z

Today's a strange day. I'm writing under the influence of alcohol. Don't know how many i had. I'm high, but I don't think I'm drunk. But I'm depressed. I think I'm one of those people who get depressed through alcohol. Not the ones who get happy.

Anyway, it was our firm's Xmas do today, went to a film studio, which was alright. At the same time, some of the bosses footed cash to pay for drinks throughout the night which I think was a fantastic gesture. Must thank them, coz it completely slipped my mind (to thank them) while I was there drinking....

So there was the quarterly award ceremony for outstanding achievement. I heard the usual spiel about contribution to the firm etc, and heard the names called out. I was losing interest when suddenly the big boss talked about a client I worked on. I could hardly believe it, but I won an award! £250 extra cash, not bad for Xmas eh?

I'm real pleased about that. But real sad that I'm still terrible with women. I'm really losing confidence with this socializing with women thing. I can approach girls I'm not interested in easily. Did that many times throughout the night. But if I'm interested, I fuck up big time. Tongue gets tied. Feel self-conscious. Feel like I'm saying and doing all the wrong things. So I give up halfway while trying.

I need to read that Double Your Dating guide by David DeAngelo. I need to put it into practice. Coz I'm feeling miserable when it comes to women. Sigh, got work tomorrow and it's already 2am. I hope I can wake up in time.

Resistance is futile

2005-12-08T23:38:00.000Z

No, I didn't buy an Xbox. I managed to resist that. But I couldn't resist spending. All because a friend and I ended up in Oxford Street last weekend. I was trying realllll hard not to whip out my wallet and buy stuff. Then, I thought "F*ck it" and decided to kill off my hard earned cash.

Bought myself a new video card. Will also be shopping this weekend for a flash new pair of Timberland sneaker/shoe thingies. Too lazy to find a photo. It's late, it's been a long day, I only want to rant.

Long days... man, the hours have been MAD the last 2 weeks. This week itself will be a 70 hour week once Friday's over... just so much to do, and I'm being really inefficient with these new areas I haven't covered on other jobs. God, hate being the new guy sometimes.

There'll be more spending ahead... I've fallen for corporate marketing spiel, and will be spending to make myself happy. Only I'll end up depressed coz money, as John Lennon would say, can't buy me love. May his soul rest in peace.

Temptation

2005-12-02T19:56:00.000Z

Man, I ALMOST bought one of those devilish white boxes. It wasn't the games that tempted me, it was the fact that these things are selling out fast, and I'd get bragging rights as one of the first owners of an Xbox 360. Exclusivity sells.

Worse, my senior manager bought one (completely at arms length of course, meaning the unit was sold at retail price), which made me want one even more. To see him beaming away, picking up the snazzy white box (complete with wireless controllers, hard drive, memory stick, etc...) on his way out... I would have whipped out my chequebook in a flash.

But i resisted. My money can be better spent elsewhere. I'm not allowed to sell the fricking thing on ebay (now retailing for about £580!) anyway, due to ethics policies. Sigh.

I may have resisted this week... but the problem is, I don't think I'll be able to withstand the temptation to rip out a cheque next week... another week walking past the sleek, alluring exterior of that dastardly device... will I succumb?

Business or Pleasure?

2005-11-29T22:52:00.000Z

Working at a client who makes games. Famous one too. Infamous. Whatever. To be honest, they don't really develop any games where I'm at, it's more of a central services site. But they've still got those iPod lookalikes known as the XBox 360 on display, along with the games their company publishes of course.

The controller's smaller than the Xbox one, but I thought its predecessor was too big anyway. Now it feels more like a PS2 controller: snug.

Still, I couldn't really get much play time on it... had to work. Too much work. I'd rather play the Xbox 360. :: Sulk ::

Problem with this client is, it's too frickin FAR. 2 Hours each way... FOUR hours of commuting... What a waste of my time. I'd rather be playing the Xbox 360. :: SULK ::

Good thing is, I'm having a day off tomorrow. A day at another client, sharing knowledge, experience, etc... and free food and drink! Still... I'd rather be... you guessed it... playing the Xbox 360. :: SULK ::

Reputation

2005-11-22T20:45:00.000Z

Another week at work eh. Only thing is, i'm now sick. It's the flu, caught it from a colleague. Oh well, hope it's not the BIRD FLU!

Short post: working with a first year right, and she was in some meeting this morning. Apparently, they talked about one of the clients I'm on, and they heard one guy there is good, and it turned out to be me. Cool! My efforts are being recognized!

Anyway, tired. I think this cold is gonna peak at around the weekend. Bleh. I think fate is conspiring to prevent me from rock climbing!

Oh another thing. A sign from above! A music shop is opening near where i lived. I was so excited I went to speak with the people putting up the sign, and asked if a studio will eventually be built there. The answer was yes. Awesome. The band may just be back again! This place will help me find a new drummer!

Terrible Coach

2005-11-19T23:12:00.000Z

That's me. So I was the "chosen one" but I was really put in my place today... by a FIRST year! Here I was, plodding along with my "advanced" questions, trying to show off my knowledge and experience to the new girl, and in front of the client, the first year plonks in a few VERY valid comments and questions that forces me to adjust my position. Ouch. Talk about humiliation. I almost went red. I could feel my ears burning, thinking "Why the heck didn't I think of that, I'm the friggin' in charge." Worse, it happened about 2-3 times throughout the day...

Oh, the shame. She's gonna go round telling her fellow first years what a terrible 2nd year I am. Can't even cover the basics. Sigh. Lesson I've learned: think CAREFULLY before I conclude or speak out. This girl is SHARP. Then again, that'd be why she's in the firm I guess.

Yes, my ego has been thoroughly shattered. I was so ashamed I went to get my hair cut after... what does that have to do with anything? Well, samurai were known to cut off their hair when they have been shamed, so... the Sheep is sheared. I needed a damned cut anyway. Good thing I went, coz there was this hot girl in the hairdresser's...

And as therapy to recover my fragile confidence, I had some sushi, some chicken pie, and learned a couple of Snow Patrol songs (Run and Chocolate). I've had their album for ages, but only recently began to like their songs. Must be age. And shame.

Chosen One

2005-11-18T22:08:00.000Z

"You will be pleased to know," he began, "that you have been specially picked for the assignment." The Sheep's manager paused, and the Sheep let out a nervous laugh and attempted a lame joke about losing the weekend to deflect the mounting pressure that was sinking in. "We needed someone of experience and intelligence," he continued, "and you're it." Not even a chance of avoiding that one, not even a CHOICE, as those were the Man's words. And the Man's words are golden.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it..." Ok this last line is made up. But basically, the Man could not find any other fool to do this job on a Saturday at 7 friggin 30 am in the friggin morning, in friggin -3 degrees celcius, so the poor Sheep was selected. And being young, impressionable, and career minded, how could he say no?

At least I'm working with a first year. Wonder if she's hot. Not that it really matters, I guess, considering my luck with the opposite sex. Bah. Better get to bed or I might get even grumpier in the morning. G'bye bloggers. G'bye weekend. Now if only those weekend revellers would shut up so I can sleep. Some people have no life, they oughta know...

Good things...

2005-11-17T22:05:00.000Z

... come to those who wait. But if you wait too long, it'll come and go. In case you haven't figured it out now, the Sheep is not good with women. He doesn't know why, and often he doesn't like to admit it. It's not like he's a complete failure with women. There have been many times that women have been attracted to him, but unfortunately, the feeling was never mutual.

It's all because of a break-up with his first love. First cut, they say, is the deepest. I don't have the energy to elaborate now. Maybe some other day. But since then, he has never had the right "mood" for love. He decided to take a year out of relationships, partying, meeting new people, but never committing. It was fun in university, because everyone was also willing to play along.

Then I took a gal out on Val's, she was hot, but I found I couldn't pick up attraction cues anymore! Argh! Worse, I couldn't find the guts to "close" the deal anymore, maybe coz she was about 4 years younger than I... but still!

And now, it's worse. My professional and personal personalities are getting all muddled up! I can't pick up girls in the office coz it feels "unprofessional" and I can't pick up girls outside the office coz it feels "too professional." Argh! I thought client facing jobs would improve my pickup abilities, not hinder it!

Suffice to say, the Sheep is sad and lonely. He waited too long. And now he has is attempting to "rebrand" himself through the Tango/Rock-Climbing/Sports/Gym thing. The music thing just ain't cutting it anymore. Damn.

Really Far and The Tiny Red Car

2005-11-16T23:06:00.000Z

Cor, woke up at 6am this morn, left home at 7am bleary eyed and tired... then arrived at the client at 10am! 3 frickin hours of journey time door to door, switching between 4 trains, a 10 minute walk, and in FREEZING weather conditions! Madness! I can't see myself doing this the whole 2 weeks... ack!

Client was... not v helpful either. But we get that once in awhile, we just have to remind them who's ultimately paying the bill... them! No point wasting the time and money of both parties...

Anyway, i've come full circle. About a year ago, this girl gave me a lift to work every morn. Haven't worked with her since... until today! And she's giving me a lift to and from work again, bless her, in her tiny little red car. I should REALLY learn to drive tho. This is getting quite inconvenient.

Fitness Last

2005-11-14T23:02:00.000Z

Youch, the slim sheep has transmogrified into the slobby sheep. Played football yesterday for about 80 mins. Had to take breaks every 10 or so minutes! Was out of breath REAL quick, just tackling, kicking, heading, running in general... man, did I feel sheepish having to bail out on my team mates for the 5th or so time to catch my breath.

Ok, so I've not played football in, what, my lifetime? Yes, I'm sad, I'm no sportsman because I had, for about 20 years of my life, a God given ability to stay slim. Now, with my frickin' job, and the increased intake of food that comes with a salary, I realized I am a in trenches, battling the bulge like most of my peer groups. Ah, I remember the days when I could scoff at my mates for having to try so hard to stay in shape...

So here I am, hurting all over from yesterday's game. I even got a cramp in my right shin! I feel 50 years older, wincing every time I lift my legs to go down a step (down hurts more than up, for some inexplicable reason!)... I need that rock climbing for more than ever, sod that tango for now...

Sheep Among Wolves

2005-11-13T15:57:00.000Z

Whoa, the Sheep almost got mugged last night. Was walking to the train station, should have noticed the three juveniles behind me, but ignored them. My music was blasting in my ears when they surrounded me and asked me for money. At first, I pretended not to notice and walked on, but they stopped me and asked me for money again. I could tell, from the aggressor's close proximity, that they'd been under the influence of alcohol. 2 were taller than me, the other slightly shorter, and they couldn't have been older than 15.

So I calmly took off my earphones and said I had no cash on me, and was heading to the cash machine to draw some out. That was a bait I was hoping they'd take, I'd be able to slip into a pub on the way. But they didn't take it at first. I proceeded to walk on, then one of them pushed me and asked me for my phone instead.

Now, I've done martial arts (taekwondo... wouldn't have been to useful here if they were faster than me), and I knew that my best bet was to de-escalate the situation. 1-1, I could probably walk off with minimal injuries, but 3 v 1, if I get knocked on to the floor, chances are I'd be dead or seriously injured. Especially if my aggressors are drunk kids with domestic issues.

I wanted to strike first, as my chances of escaping with light injuries would be highter if I did but: 1. I feared prosecution. UK laws are strangely bent against the victim. 2. I was wearing my £500 Oakley prescription glasses and couldn't afford to break em. Damned paycheck's all spent!

So I told them I'd get them some drinks at a nearby pub. They were having none of it. I persisted, and one guy said "We'll walk you to the cash machine." One of the guys was losing his patience and told his friends "Enough of this let's go." I was getting confident that I could walk out of this fight, and insisted on getting them drinks at the pub. As I proceeded to walk them toward the pub, one guy pushed me hard, and I lost balance and fell to the ground.

I expected to get kicked, mugged and hospitalized.

I got seriously pissed off, and quickly got back on my feet. Staying on the ground is fatal. Irrational thoughts like "I'm gonna take these bastards down" flooded my mind. Once up, I assumed my stance on harder ground (i was pushed onto mud, not good for defense), took off glasses and prepared to flank the group... but they ran off. I was angry, frustrated and confused. They were 3 on 1! Why'd they run???

Still, I'm thankful though. No injuries, just some dirty jeans, and my knuckles are not busted. A part of me still wished that I could have taken them down like in the movies! I want some vengeance! Some ass kicked! Chances are though, I would have had my butt handed to me on a plate...

Anyway, kids these days are in need of some serious physical discipline. Parents, if you're not ready to teach your kids some respect, DON'T have kids. Use condoms. Get a friggin' abortion. Keep scum off the streets.

Climbing or Tango-ing Sheep

2005-11-11T23:37:00.000Z

Argh. The Sheep can't decide! In an attempt to add a bit more variety to his weekends, the Sheep is torn between signing up for Tango or signing up for indoor climbing. He has ruled out the gym because sign up costs are wayyy too high, and monthly membership rates hurt. So cheaper, "funner" alternatives were looked at.

Climbing should be interesting, as it is a natural progression into outdoor rock climbing, which also sounds pretty interesting. It builds strength, stamina, and is an intensive form of cardio at the same time. But... it's climbing right? Won't I get bored eventually? How much fun is it really to press up against a wall and pull yourself up another handhold?

Tango is fun. Experienced it at uni, and def want to continue. Thing is though, I don't have a partner now... what if most people there bring partners? Will I pay all that cash just to have no one to dance with? Or worse, what if my partner doesn't like dancing with me? Can I bear having my fragile ego shattered by total stranger? I'd ask a certain colleague out... but people may get the wrong idea... er... the right idea... whatever.

So. Tango or Climbing. Climbing or Tango.

...

Maybe I'll just go play football on Sunday.

Late Sheep

2005-11-10T22:53:00.000Z

Oops, the Sheep got blasted by his in charge today for being late the 4th day in a row. Entirely unprofessional, I admit, but there were mitigating circumstances!

The first day, there was a stupid fire alert somewhere causing my train to be delayed.

The second day, I was actually caught up in a fire alert... smoke was pouring out of Bond Street station as I stepped off the train. So the station got closed, I got stuck without a train again.

Wednesday, I was only 10 mins late! After going through a 1.5 hour journey, I think it wasn't that bad!

And today, my friggin' alarm clock batteries died, and the damned thing stopped at 3.25am! I woke up at 8.30 and still managed to get in at 10.05am!

I decided it wasn't worth explaining and just sighed and said "Right" to her nagging. When a woman gets worked up, there's no reasoning with her. I wonder if it's "that time of month" for her or something...

I'm not the only one in trouble today. Blair faced his first commons defeat on a very sensible proposal. His party is ripping its credibility apart. People will forgive them for the Iraq war if the national economy is doing well. But rebel votes like this only serve to highlight what an undisciplined party they are. Blair goes, so does my vote.

I'm already leaning towards the Conservatives now, whether Davis or Cameron gets elected. Lower taxes, freer market, smaller govt. I liked Blair because he struck a good balance between social needs and business needs. Now that the left are revealing their unionized, militant selves, they are quickly losing my vote. Good luck Labour. I doubt you'll survive without Blair.

Random Rants

2005-11-09T23:49:00.000Z

I'm beat. Got an early start tomorrow, with a senior manager review to look forward to first thing in the morning, and a 1.5 hour journey through London's fire, bomb, strike, and signal-failure prone underground system. And I just got home about an hour ago. And now I'm blogging when I really should be sleeping. Sigh.

Was doing a recruitment thingy for the big firm. Yes, playing the soulless corporate recruiter. With a little bit of soul. Sure, I did the whole corporate spiel, but I added bits of my own experiences in. What I like about the job. What I didn't. Even manage to get at least 3/4 of the people I spoke to decide to apply to my regional office instead of the HQ where the event was being held.

Got asked a stumper of a question by one of the undergrads. "Isn't that an independence issue?" Had to mull over it, wasn't sure about the technicalities, but I think I managed to blag a half-decent answer. "Er, no." Cool.

Funny, I can clearly remember attending some of these events about 2 years ago. Didn't bother asking questions, I was just there for the goodie bags... Tonight though, I was stuck with answering questions the whole night, so I couldn't grab hold of a bag... however, I managed to charm the recruitment lady into whipping out two corporate memory sticks from her hand bag and hand em over to me! Wahey! Bonus! Worth wayyy more than those bags! And they look pretty flash too!

Sigh, if only I'm this lucky in my personal relationships. Anyway, that's another story...

Jason Mraz is coming to town in Feb! He is one fantabulous guitarist/singer/songwriter, and I've been hoping to play in the London bars like he does in the bars in NYC. I can play his songs, sing half-decently, but I don't have his gift with the wordplay... And I need a bongo player/singer too! Dreams eh? Depressing when you can't realize them, depressing when u don't have them. Maybe I should write a song about that...

(The) Netherlands Revisited

2005-11-01T22:21:00.000Z

Why the name change indeed? There has never been a name change, only foreigner ignorance. As demonstrated by my last post. Holland, according to the ever informative Wikipedia, is actually a west-central region of the Netherlands. So where I'm currently working at is actually called the Netherlands. How did we ever live without the internet eh?

Well, at some point in the past, particularly around 200-300 years ago, people lived on game. Deer, wild boar, rabbit, etc... I've read about their use enough times in books (particularly the "Ice and Fire" books), and ordered peasants to hunt down these critters for food enough times in games (particularly the "Age of Empires" series) to have wondered what these things taste like. So I finally found out in a little place here called the "de Watervogel" or something.

Hare meat is a little on the course side, a bit like pig's liver. Don't really like it. Boar is, obviously, similar to pork, though it seemed to have a slightly tougher texture... but that may be because of the way the dish was cooked. Still, it tasted pretty good! The deer though, was sweet and tender. My favourite of the three. It beats beef and pork in my opinion... no wonder deer hunting is still going strong in the States!

Well, other than that... the Sheep is ashamed to say that he has put on weight. Damn this job, I'm avoiding lifts and taking stairs, taking walking breaks, carrying folders to and from work, etc... but the pounds keep on piling! Argh! Gotta sign up for the gym before it's too late! Or is it... ALREADY TOO LATE???

Life Goes On

2005-10-27T23:26:00.000+01:00

Got my exam results a couple weeks back. Finally passed the frickin' subject. Scraped a pass, actually, but hey, a pass is a pass and if I can keep this up, I'm gonna be qualified just like everyone else...

Had a great night and a half of celebration, then it was off to Holland/Netherlands again for work... hmm, why and how did they change the name of the country? Gotta Google that later!

Old George Martin finally released the latest book of his Ice and Fire series. Great to see that his work is still as gripping and complex as ever. Now all of us fans have to keep our fingers crossed that the old guy lives long enough to finish the series... a morbid thought, but it DID take him 3-4 years to write this latest book.

Anyway, it looks like I'll be staying with the firm at least until summer next year. No exams till then. Whoopee.

When September Ends

2005-09-29T20:46:00.000+01:00

Whoops, I blinked, and a month flew by...

My life's ok, I guess, but I can't get rid of my "baggage..." i.e... my irresponsible and completely useless father. Ok, let me get this out of the way: I'm grateful to him for raising me, for taking care of mum, and for giving me a whole trio of lovable siblings to care for...

But he has turned into a complete wreck. He won't get a job, he won't listen to advice, he won't confront his idiot decisions in the past that led to our current difficulties, and he won't even FACE those decisions. He's a complete coward. And you know what? I'm probably gonna end up just like him, which pisses me off to no end.

At least one thing's different. I'm helping pay to put food on their frickin' table. And a frickin' roof over their heads. Which is more than he's willing to lift a single finger to do. Lazy git.

Here's what I've learned thus far...

2005-08-23T23:06:00.000+01:00

... I'm SO gonna pass... sigh

Worse than ridiculous

2005-08-21T16:36:00.000+01:00

I really can't sympathize with strikers. Unofficial strikers are even higher up my list of annoyances. Strikes disrupt our lives, but that's not what annoys me. What annoys me, is that these guys don't get it. They don't get the big picture.

A strike incurs costs to the company, that's a given. That's why workers strike, to hit companies where it hurts the most: their profits. A drop in profits will also affect investors' perceptions of the company. BA, for example, saw it's shares slip after the wildcat strikes were held. Before those strikers start cheering at this, they ought to consider what this means in the long run... job losses. Reduced profits, especially if sustained, can only be met my reduced costs. Planes go, pilots go, crewmembers go... and that means ground staff go too. It's not as if BA was doing tremendously well before... it had just recovered from a string of losses through strict cost reduction.

What's worse, ex-Gate Gourmet staff actually think the strike will help them get their jobs back. Earth to ex-Gate Gourmet staff: the company's about to go bust. Your actions have not helped. If it goes into administration, expect MORE job losses, not reinstatement.

So there we go, my two cents on industrial action. To summarize: strikes are a pain in the arse. Only use if your cause is truly justified. In this case, it isn't.

Trouble Ahead

2005-08-11T19:34:00.000+01:00

Iran's playing a dangerous game. Or are they?

The West's hands are tied. Suffering from post-Iraq blues, America is unlikely to engage in another war in the Middle East, at least not alone. And Europe? The chances of me winning the lottery are much higher than any agreement by France, Germany and the UK about invading another Muslim country. That would inflame further sentiment among the Muslim communities that there is some secret conspiracy to attack Islam. And besides, China would definitely veto any decisions to attack Iran: they've signed lucrative oil contracts with them.

So what options are UN politicians left with... sanctions? Maybe, but that could prompt Iran to further withdraw from negotiations with the West. I can't imagine them playing a tougher line, but it could happen. They could go North Korea's route.

And therein lies the problem. We have two autocratic, tyrannical, unstable, fanatical countries developing nuclear weapons. There's no doubt about their intentions as all efforts by Europe offering civilian nuclear development have been rejected.

So why shouldn't they have nuclear weapons? Well, do we need to remind ourselves of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Without transparency, accountability, security, and more importantly, freedom of information, the leaders of these countries can use these weapons with impunity. On a whim of a dictator, we could see cities mushrooming out of existence.

And yet, the West looks particularly incapable of doing much at the moment... "Let Loose the Dogs of War" I say... kick some North Korean butt to show these IAEA rule-breakers we mean business (and also to show that there ISN'T a mad conspiracy against Islam). If the carrot don't work, use that stick.

Lost

2005-08-10T21:39:00.000+01:00

Lost...

...just premiered tonight in the UK. I've watched the whole of series one, but thought I'd wait till the UK launch to comment... I am a BIG fan of the show. It's great! The characters really grow on you as you learn more about them...

Slight spoilers ahead...

Eps 1 - 3 : Ho-hum, plane crash, Jurassic Park-esque island complete with human munching critters. Typical hero type Jack and hot babe Kate. Hmm, Sayid's an interesting character. Charlie's annoying. Hmm, token Asian couple, black guy, and big guy.

Eps 4 - 6 : Whoa, Charlie's a ROCK STAR in an Oasis inspired band... cool! And Locke is even cooler! Hang on, there's more to Sawyer, Kate, and everyone damned person on the island. And nope, these are not token characters at all... Ok, I'm hooked.

Yup, that's a rough summary of how I got stuck on Lost. And now I can't wait till Season 2 begins on the 22nd of September. Just after my resits. Good stuff.

Discovery Back on Earth

2005-08-09T19:08:00.000+01:00

Hey, good going America! I was more than a little concerned about the heat shielding, but thankfully everything went smoothly... another small step into space! It's a shame only America can afford space research... a bit more competition could possibly speed up our presence out there...

Crash

2005-08-07T03:12:00.000+01:00

Crash, not to be confused with the movie released in '96, is fantastic.

It's a movie predominantly about racism, but is extremely well executed. It's thought provoking... can our preconceptions about race, class, and jobs really affect our decisions and actions, despite our best efforts to do what's right? The movie paints a lot of grey strokes... characters that were "noble" fall, others that were fallen "rise." In the end, nobody's wrong, but is anybody right?

Love this stuff, will keep a beady eye out for more Paul Haggis films in future. Then again, I wonder what happened to the guy who wrote Donnie Darko...

Oh, talked to that hot receptionist on Friday. Found out more about her, which is nice... she's over here for her summer break doing a working holiday, and will be starting college in Oregon in the States. She's flying back in a couple weeks... NOT a good time for me... resits are in a couple weeks. She talked about her water skiing, hiking, nature-loving antics... I suggested that she was probably bored here in London, far removed from nature sports. And she was. Hey, nature's expensive over here... guess her summer boyfriend (a fellow Londoner) is just as cash (and time) strapped as I am...

The Effects of Terror?

2005-08-04T18:34:00.000+01:00

Should Islamic veils be removed?

Hell, no!

I'm not Muslim, nor Pakistani, nor Indian, and not the tiniest bit Middle Eastern. But the issue should NEVER have been the hijab, but rather our attitudes to it. Why should one hide one's identity or beliefs, if those believes do no harm to others? The hijab doesn't kill: fanaticism does.

It's a shame these women have to stop wearing the hijab because a small minority of the white population are anxious. This will only provoke more anger and frustration among the very community Britain needs to sort out the extremists!

And today, I was on the bus going to work. Three kids, about 12 years old and looking quite harmless, step onto the bus. Children don't have to pay for their bus rides, so they went to get seats. The bus driver calls out to the "brown" kid. "I don't want you on the bus," he says. The poor kid, and one of his "white" friends had to step off the bus... just for being "brown." What a farking racist that driver is!

Experiences like these cause the Muslim population to feel alienated. Heck, I'D feel alienated if that happened to me. Although I'm disappointed no one on the bus stood up for him, I HATE myself for not standing up for the kid. All I was thinking at the time was "I gotta get to work on time." Jeezuz! What is wrong with people these days??? ME included???

Slave to Money

2005-08-03T18:50:00.000+01:00

Aren't we all?

I've been budgeting myself silly, counting my expenses down to the nearest pence. Why, I hear you ask (ok, so you didn't but I'm gonna answer anyway)? Because of the friggin resits... I'm trying to save as much as I can to pay for all those extra costs, as well as the money lost due to the unpaid leave I'm forced to take.

So I'm eating sandwiches for dinner, I eat at the subsidized canteen at work, and turn down weekend night outs... sigh... I feel depressed. I wanted to invite the hot receptionist out... Oh well, at least Blogger's free eh?

Hard Slog

2005-08-02T21:32:00.000+01:00

Well, it's been about 2 weeks since I got my exam results back... passed one, failed the other. Shock. Horror. Bollocks.

I've got to do resits now, and a second fail would mean that I lose my job as stated in my contract. Can't blame 'em. Frickin exams are expensive, as I found out recently, through the school of hard knocks. The resit means that I have to settle all the bills myself, booking my own hols, paying for the course, and the exam registration fees. Ouch. Big frickin hole in my wallet.

And the funny thing is, I actually thought I'd pass this paper! I came out of the exam hall thinking "Cor, that was easy!" I guess the other candidates did too, sod em all!

On the bright side, I had a great weekend of commiseration! It sure reminded me of those joyous uni days! Blew another hole in my pocket, but what the hell... if you're stuck in a rut, you might as well dig deeper I say!

Baking Britain

2005-07-16T11:26:00.000+01:00

What with the bombs and olympic games, life's been pretty hectic. Stuff's been happening but I haven't had the time to update this blog due to work commitments... so I've decided to do a batch update stretching back 3 weeks.

Anyway, summer months are made for BBQs. Went to a manager's BBQ last weekend, tomorrow I'm going to a partner's BBQ. I've learned that partner interaction is very very rare thing for first year's... but on this client, I've been getting a LOT of exposure to them, which is supposed to be a good thing. Heck, I've even been doing work FOR them.

Anyway, this partner lives in some mansion just outside London, so I'll report on my experiences tomorrow.

Golf and Interns

2005-07-16T11:25:00.000+01:00

Went to the driving range a couple days back... haven't been since I was what, 12? Good fun though, my colleague was impressed by my apparently "natural" swing, though the damned balls weren't going anywhere near where I wanted them to go. This looks to be something that'll stick going forward.

Wahey, we have a summer intern assigned to our job... and she's quite pretty too! Er, that wasn't very professional... but heck, I'm a man first, professional second! Our intern's quite interesting: she's a Cambridge University student, rowing aficionado, kick boxing enthusiast, really easy to talk to and from a low income background to boot, making her achievements even more impressive. I was assigned to coach her through her 2 days at our job... it was a great learning experience for me, not so sure if it was the same for her. Too bad she's going to another job next week...

Man, I can't believe I've been working in the company for 10 months already! There'll be much more of this coaching once September comes along and we get a fresh batch of grads... I remember the day I joined...

Holland (3 weeks ago)

2005-07-16T11:00:00.000+01:00

I came back from a two week work excursion from Holland about a week before the bombs went off. Trip was good, weather was great, and it was a fantastic learning opportunity. I went to a little known part of Holland called Venray, chilled out with our local staff in a couple nearby towns. I've been to Amsterdam before, so sampling an "authentic" Dutch lifestyle was more appealing than visiting the more obvious attractions at good ol' Amsterdam.

Staff at our client's were quite nice too, despite the fact that we, the UK team, couldn't speak (nor read) Dutch. They were all well versed in English so work got done.

London Bombed

2005-07-07T19:50:00.000+01:00

I was about an hour away, but still as shocked the rest of the population. Not surprised. It could have been worse... it could have hit Live 8. Damn these terrorists... why hit now? The G8 are trying to resolve African poverty... I guess they don't really care. Bastards.

Exam Stress

2005-06-12T14:12:00.000+01:00

Oh boy... there's too much at stake in tomorrow's exam... but here I am procrastinating. If I fail, I won't lose my job, but I'll have to pay for the resits, the repeat classes, etc, which could eat up half a month's salary. Can't afford that.

See, my employer pays a salary and also contributes to my training and studies towards my qualification, so the deal is that I keep passing, and they keep paying. I then spend about two months in every five at college, the rest at work. I passed my last batch of exams in December, now I've got a second batch. The exams obviously get progressively harder, but we're supposed to be getting better too.

I don't feel like I'm any better. A bit more confused definitely, but better? Hmm... Anyway, i don't wanna fail, but there's so much stuff to cram in my head... and there's LIMITED SPACE IN THERE!

Worse, my ISP activated my broadband on Friday... the Internet being The Great Distractor, it's kinda hard to keep focused on studying. I do my best, but look at me now...

Ok, enough ranting. Back to the books... man, I've got study manuals twice the size of Tolkien's trilogy put together... With exams only 22 hours away, all my last minute studying seems too little too late...

Some Good News

2005-06-02T23:29:00.000+01:00

I'm flying out to Holland right after my exams! Unfortunately, it's a professional engagement (i.e. work)... and I don't suppose hanging out with my manager and in-charge over the weekend will be much fun. It's not like I can have a few 'shrooms with them, or pay the local night market a visit... Still, I guess it's pretty cool to get an overseas engagement so soon.

Oh, the awesome George R R Martin has finished the latest book in his excellent "Song of Ice and Fire" saga. I picked up the first of the series, "Game of Thrones" 7 years ago, not believing that anyone could top Tolkien in fantasy novels. George, however, is pretty damned good. Unfortunately, at the pace he's writing he might just die before he finishes the story... here's hoping that doesn't happen! Stay on the veggie diet George!

Ranting Sheep

2005-05-29T16:09:00.000+01:00

Damn. Living alone isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Pros: Privacy. No morning bathroom queues. No nosey kids poking into my bedroom when I'm studying. I can put things where I want to. I can cook and eat as much or as little as I want, when I want.

But there are a helluva lot more cons.

Cons: Not much in the way of conversational opportunities... I've got a plant, but the conversation's kinda lopsided. Cooking... no, cooking's not so bad... but washing up is. Laundry... urgh. Place can get pretty messy if I'm not careful with my "putting things where I want to" urges. Pangs of loneliness can be pretty hard to ignore.

Which is why, unfortunately, my results have been hit. I've got a lot more on my plate now, and a lot less time to study or chill out. And I'm trying to pick my social life up again, which is quite difficult to do when you're stretched for cash and time.

Still waiting for a TV I ordered 3 weeks ago on Amazon. The logistics company (parcelforce) is a pain to deal with. They don't work past 5:30pm, they don't arrange specific delivery times, they don't answer your calls, and they take ages to reply to your emails. Worse, they don't work Saturdays unless you pay them to, and even when you agree, they don't arrive. And guess what... this is BUSINESS CLASS delivery. They are complete sh*te.

And broadband? They (Demon) don't deal with you via email (they just reply telling you to "CALL THEM"), and you can only call them on weekdays between 9-530. Which is a problem as I usually reach home at 6, and I can't call from college. ARGH!

Oh well. Life is great isn't it?

Movers and Shakers

2005-05-05T10:21:00.000+01:00

So my personal life is in a bit of a whirl right now, but work's been going fairly well. Been getting some good feedback from the various people I worked with, and my Big Job Manager has informed me that the manager at my current job is trying to poach me from her. Apparently, this will not be allowed to happen.

Furthermore, this second year associate I was working with yesterday has actually heard about me before we met. Maybe she heard bad things about me, maybe good things but whatever the case is I've still got more important things to worry about.

Like moving. Took today and tomorrow off to pack and ready a move into the apartment on Saturday. Then it's off to college to ready myself for an exam in June. Wonder if the sudden change in lifestyle will mean I take a hit on my results... Oh well, we'll see what happens.

Fickle Fortune

2005-04-24T16:20:00.000+01:00

Whoops, another couple months of empty blogness as life goes faster than I can catch up with... It's been extremely turbulent times for me.

Ok, work's sorted out. I'm back in the UK, and back at work for just over a month now. But my family will be leaving. And I think that's gonna affect me more than I care to admit in person. So I'm admitting it here on the blog.

I've not been the greatest eldest son, I have to say. I'm kinda stand-offish towards my siblings and parents, not very helpful with house chores, and a complete pain to be with when I'm exhausted from work. I've had rows with my dad, and kindled the thought of leaving home on quite a few occassions. I wanted to be independent, and free from my family...

But now that they really ARE going away in two weeks... I'm feeling a little panicky. I'm thinking I'll miss the noise and liveliness my siblings bring to the house. I'll miss poking fun at their crazy school nonsense, and asking if they've done their homework. I'll miss seeing them trying to blame each other for breaking something of mine. Damn, I'll miss 'em...

Flying Sheep

2005-02-19T19:45:00.000Z

The Sheep is to fly home to become an "independent." The sheep is to tear away any connections with his family in order to live an "independent" life. "Independent," of course, in the highly esteemed opinions of first generation immigrants working in the Home Office.

Ah well. Such is the irony of life. How strange that a family who has been here in the UK for 8 years, living off our own funds, working, paying taxes, never claimed a single penny of benefits, is now in the process of appealing the IND's decision to refuse their stay.

Fortunately, the Sheep's company is seeking to help ensure that he keeps his job. The company's lawyers advised him to fly home as soon as possible, so that they can start working their arcane arts to get me back. The Sheep's company has been highly supportive thus far. Hopefully, this isn't a ploy to kick him home for good :)

Fortune's Coin

2005-02-12T07:16:00.000Z

Luck, I've noticed, comes in pairs. One moment, I'm basking in a turn of good fortune, the next I'm thrown into a trough of bad luck.

This is the case this week.

Good fortune at work. I've been warned about the staff working at my current client. I've been told two women, in particular, have been giving us a difficult time. I've had the good luck of catching them in a good mood, I suppose, as I managed to get them laughing as I worked with them. My team was visibly surprised.

Then, bad luck at home. Yesterday, I came back from work to discover that my dad got our visas back. His application for a student visa to continue his studies has been rejected, throwing all of us into a turmoil. I could lose my job. Thing is, when I joined in September, my firm had asked to apply for a work permit for me. Right now, in the middle of a job, I don't know if it's still possible. I don't know anything anymore.

Huckabees

2005-02-06T17:07:00.000Z

What a great movie!

I'll be the first to admit that I don't understand how some of the scenes fit with existentialism... particularly the mud-love-making scene. I understand the love-making, but the mud??? Still, this movie is bound to pique the viewer's interest in existentialism, a philosophy I find most interesting ever since I read an introduction to Sartre.

In many ways, this movie clarifies Sartre's views for me... how each agent is ultimately responsible for their own choice. Human nature and God are concepts created by us to divert responsibility for our own actions on to something else. Being (for oneself, for others, and just BEING), forlornness, anguish... so many of these concepts reflected in the characters, the situations they are confronted with. Awesome.

Hmm, I am feeling a sudden, inexplicable urge to go read something further about this... Nietzsche it is then!

Food and Music

2005-02-05T22:45:00.000Z

My peer group have been trying to get together for awhile now since we joined the firm wayyy back in September '04. Go karting fell through when the two people who were supposed to organize it got overtaken by work.

Today, at last, I managed to get most of us together for some food. It was pretty cool as most of those attending had never experienced Dim Sum before. If you have to ask what it is, I can only reply with "just try it."

Anyway, it occurred to me in between bites that the "Chain of Marriages" may well have begun. In my group, 3 are already married, with a 4th recently revealing that he too is about to get married later this year (white guy flying off to India to marry a local girl there, but that's another story).

I'm not feeling to much pressure at the moment... but if this continues, how long will I be able to hold on to "non-commital" relationships? How long before I feel "left out?" How long before I feel I need to settle down? Sigh... maybe that's why I feel like song-writing now. Better go before the creative juices subside.

Before You Accuse Me...

2005-02-05T09:55:00.000Z

Strange. Yesterday, this girl I know told me about how her previous two ex-es have always suspected there was something between her and I. Even some of her female friends were wondering.

Sure, we're close friends coz we talk about anything under the sun and moon... but I've done nothing to warrant suspicion, I think! One of her ex'es, I've only ever met in passing, the other's a friend of mine... so it's weird. Maybe we SHOULD start something up. Heh.

Wait. Maybe that's her plan. She confessed about having a crush on me before. Hmm, must tread carefully. This sheep does not intend to be caught and sheared.

Another Step Toward Space Exploration

2005-02-03T20:53:00.000Z

Forget plasma engines or warp drives. The most likely form of space propulsion are SAILS!

Treasure Planet, anyone?

Hmm, if they manage to invent that microwave gun, then minituarize it, I don't see why it can't be installed onto a "space galleon." This could then lead to manned space vehicles, and before long, colonization of Mars! That'd be cool.

Size Matters

2005-02-02T19:51:00.000Z

Big ones are messier. They are harder to work on, difficult to wrap up, and it's easy to get stuck. However, when you rise up to the challenge of handling one, it can be very satisfying... particularly because one sees more, and learns more from it.

Small ones are easy to handle. Its more comfortable, easier to fit in, and doesn't take up a lot of time. One can experience its entirety, and get a fairly good grip on things. However, it's not as deep as it's bigger brethren, and rarely as challenging, and boredom can set in quite quickly.

What the hell am I talking about? Clients. Businesses. Firms. Companies :)

The past few engagements I've had have been with massive clients. I'm finally working on a tiny one (in terms of personnel... it's turnover is actually quite astonishing... but then again, you'd have to be to hire us...) and it's quite pleasing to be able to handle so much on my own. I'm still fairly clueless when it comes to analytics, but I'm getting there...

Counting Sheep Again... Now, Where Was I Before?

2005-01-31T21:57:00.000Z

It's been a looonnnggg time since i last blogged... Let's see *takes a DEEP breath*...

I moved houses, changed ISPs, changed clients, revised for my exams, sat my exams, got my 'Net just before Xmas, had a chilled out hol, got my band started, celebrated Xmas, watched dazzling fireworks in not-so-dazzling London during the New Year (on TV... couldn't bear the crowds), almost got a business trip to Dublin (but I didn't have my passport so my colleague took that opportunity in my stead... sux), got pulled in to a "rival" manager's team (I, being the unsuspecting first year, had no clue Manager 2 had not spoken to Manager 1 about this, and was in a very awkward situation when Manager 1 found out), and I PASSED my first batch of exams!

Phew... There, 2 months worth of blogtastic news summarized in one paragraph. Doesn't seem like much now that the euphoria of re-blogging is over. Oh well.

So what lies ahead? Hmm... venting about nothing is pretty fun, but I've been thinking about more interesting ways to blog. Guess it's time to troll other blogs for ideas!

Lost Sheep

2004-11-11T21:33:00.000Z

Just moved houses, so I've got no Net connection! No blogs too! Oh, the humanity! Ok, can't use this dial-up connection long... corporate connection and all that. Just thought I'd let Cedia know :)

Busy Sheep

2004-10-31T16:05:00.000Z

Wow, I've got to improve my time management skillz. The weekend's already gone and I've hardly touched my books! Arrrgh! I'm gonna die when the exams come along in three weeks time...

My first proper week at work was "fun" in that I really liked the office and the people I was working with. The work itself, however, wasn't particularly interesting. I didn't have time to completely absorb what I was doing as there was SO much to do... been pulling in some crazy overtime. Too bad I don't get paid for it... I get holidays to compensate though.

Anyway, I got my second paycheck on Friday, and I'm seeing it all go on Monday! Demoralizing, to say the least, but unavoidable. Moving house, and I'm footing the bill. Still, dad's got a job interview lined up in a couple weeks, so hopefully he can ease our "little" financial problem.

Gonna visit a friend in hospital later. His lung collapsed, and the docs are trying to restore its size and shape. He should be recovered over the coming week though. More details later, as I just found out about this.

Long Hours

2004-10-26T21:28:00.000+01:00

It's only Tuesday, and I'm already tired. 10 hours per day. At least. The girl who drives me to work does about 12. 13 even. Anyway, off to bed now (need my 8 hours sleep), more this weekend.

Not a Work-Virgin Anymore!

2004-10-22T19:12:00.000+01:00

Yes, I've finally done it... I've gone to work at a client's!

Although I can't disclose the details, I can disclose how I felt... which is basically summed up in one word: confused.

On Wednesday, I thought the office looked nice... nicer than mine anyway. The people looked kinda geeky, but then again, I should look in the mirror. I was shadowing a colleague one year ahead of me, she's cool. Talks a lot, but that's great, I cause I don't. Anyway, I was torn between trying to speed things up, and keeping my work accurate... decisions, decisions.

On Thursday, I was gob-smacked by the client's headquarters... what an amazing design. And when I went INSIDE... I was floored. Shops, gyms, hairdressers, food courts... is this a mall? Nope. I looked up and I saw glass-walled office rooms on both sides, with beautiful bridges spanning the two sides of the building. Awesome.

I didn't do much, I think. I hope what I did, I did correctly. I sextuple-checked everything... but with spreadsheets, it's hard to say. Everyone was ranked MUCH higher than me too... except that colleague I was shadowing. She's a prize-winner in three exam papers I'm sitting over the next 6 months. Talk about pressure!

Stayed till 6:45pm. Considering I arrived at 8am, those are some pretty long hours. Can't complain, I did worse at Deutsche Bank. And considering the other guys and gals stayed till 9:45pm, I practically worked half-day...

That's it then. Spent today gathering with my fellow 1st year trainees, bitching about our first client experience. Good stuff.

Hmm, this post will probably look extremely ridiculous to me 5 years from now...

No Time to Meditate

2004-10-19T18:50:00.000+01:00

Just as quickly as I was cancelled off a job yesterday, I've been reassigned to another client, starting tomorrow. No time to be nervous, so no time to meditate either. But there's time to comment on

this. Desperation or innovation?

I bet in about 5 years, this is gonna be the mainstream way of advertising for "companions." Man, imagine the amount of spam this woman will surely get...

Idle Thumbs

2004-10-18T19:47:00.000+01:00

Just my luck. Job posting has been cancelled, so I spent the day at the office studying. Doh. Looks like I'll have the next two weeks free, unless something else crops up. So much for my first day of "work."

Weekend was good. Met up with some old friends for a farewell party... one of them was leaving the country. Chatted about old times till the restaurant closed, left the New York-ish Canary Wharf for a friend's flat. Then played some requests on a friend's guitar, reminiscing about uni along the way, drinking bottles of wine, champagne, and whatever was available. Good fun.

What weren't so fun were the goodbyes. Oh well... "parting is such sweet sorrow." Not as sweet as parting with a lover, but hey...

Oh YES! I ALSO have my cool new Motorola V3 now... I wanted to post pics... but I haven't set up an online picture account yet. I'll see if I can do that over the next few days... it is the envy of my friends... it will be for the next 2/3 months anyway, before everyone on the street owns one.

Work Newbie

2004-10-16T09:53:00.000+01:00

Starting first client work on Monday, and I'm all nerves! Wonder what it's gonna be like, wonder who the people I'll be working with are like, wonder what the office is like, etc...

Man, I had wanted the jam session partly to work out those nerves. In fact, the session ALMOST happened. Drummer called to say he'll make Sunday, I called the others, only to find that guitarist can't make Sunday because of prior commitments. Argh! Frustrating!

Anyway, I'm supposed to be studying today... or doing some computer based training. Instead, I went out last night, and I'll be going out again later today... view house, get contacts, attend a farewell party.

Running out of cash BIG time. And I STILL haven't got my V3. "National shortage," the guy in the store told me, promising to call me as soon as the new batch arrives... though he doesn't know WHEN it will. So, nothing seems to be working out as planned in my personal life! What else is new, eh?

Busted Plans

2004-10-12T19:53:00.000+01:00

I hate it when plans fall apart.

Here I am trying to organize the first jam session for my fledgling band, spreading the word to my guitarist, vocalist and drummer... first two says "Great, I'm free!" but drummer, as I just found out, says "Sorry, probably can't make it."

"Find a new drummer," I hear you say. Easier said than done. Few drummers play Dave Matthews Band songs. And I'm having trouble enough finding a bassist.

And work? I just began internal training this week, when I get an email telling me that because of my client placement next week, I have to attend a US regulations course, cause the client is US listed... now I am expected to cram not just UK practice rules, but also the US. Great. I'm having difficulty enough committing the former to memory, now I have to worry about the latter. Sigh.

Hence, I really want to jam. It's tough enough without a bassist, but without a drummer, we definitely can't jam. Drum machines just don't cut it.

Oh well, let's see what else life has in store for me over the next few days.

Razr Delayed

2004-10-09T22:10:00.000+01:00

I made up my mind last night to buy the accursed thing, so I woke up and rushed out the house, tubed into the nearest town center, before barging into the shop where I first saw it, only to find that they ran out of stock.

So no Razr fix today. I placed an order for it anyway, but I will have to wait till Tuesday or Wednesday to get my grubby hands on it. Bought other stuff for my siblings though... vid games for the brothers, Bratz doll for the sis. Now I'm semi-broke for the next 3 weeks.

Is this why we work? To get paid? To spend? To survive, in a modern sense? To fit in with our peers? To shorten our lifespans through stress? Tune in next week for the next exciting installment of "Counting Sheep" where very few, if any, of the above questions will be answered!

R & R? Not quite...

2004-10-08T22:31:00.000+01:00

After an intensive month of studying, exams, and general hair-tearing stress, I am now ready for WORK stress. Next Monday, I'll attend a week of in-house training before being packed off and sent to my first client. Whee.

Note to confused reader:

My employment is composed of periods split between training for a qualification, and of course, working. I've just finished a period of studying, now I'm shifting towards one on working.

Oh yes, studies. Didn't do as well as I'd hoped. Didn't do as badly as I had feared either, so silver lining behind the clouds and all that... basically, my dreams of staying top dog were shattered as I found myself stuck in the 2nd and 3rd quartiles in the last two papers. I just barely scraped through the 3rd quartile in the latter paper... if I had hit the 4th, I'd be seeing my manager very soon next week to "discuss my future and progress" (or lack of it)... so, I'm REALLY relieved about that.

Argh, I REALLY want to be in the first quartile... or FIRST! How do these clever bastards do it??? Looks like I won't be able to stay away from all that study material over the next five weeks as I had planned...

Anyway, looking forward to some much-needed retail therapy tomorrow. That Motorola Razr V3 looks yummier every time I look at it. Can I resist the lure of the Razr? After all, I DO need a new calling plan... hmm.... hmm...

Quickie

2004-10-07T20:23:00.000+01:00

Last week at college before the first study session is wrapped up. Last day tomorrow. Been getting my results backs. Mixed. Top of class in one, 2nd quartile in another. Relieved and slight disappointment in the latter result. 2 more results receivable tomorrow. Anxious, coz these are hard papers. Still getting lots to do. Hence, quick blog, then back to the books.

Sick Sheep

2004-10-03T20:15:00.000+01:00

Ack, caught a cold. Sore throat, temperature, runny nose. The whole package. *Sniffles*

So annoying. Tired, heavy head, but guess what? Progress exams tomorrow. Yup. I'm sick, and tomorrow's exam results will be passed over to my employers. What luck.

Besides that piece of good news, there was the ball on Friday. Great food, great atmosphere, shame about the company. Turns out most people brought guests, so it wasn't exactly a singles paradise, as me and a few friends had hoped. It sure ain't uni anymore...

Still, got my first paycheck on Friday, so I quickly followed up with some retail therapy on Saturday. Now THAT was fun, sick or otherwise. It feels good to know that you can afford stuff (as opposed to my student days, gazing at gadgets that were WAY out of my budget), even if you don't buy it.

This is drool-worthy...

Ok, better stop procrastinating. I'll see how long I can last with revision before I hit the sack. 6 very long hours to look forward to tomorrow... sigh...

Triumphant Trepidation

2004-09-30T21:47:00.000+01:00

Today is a "mixed feelings" day. On the one hand, I found out I really DID pass my law exams. It was pretty scary, and not very well thought out: they had a list of names of people who did NOT pass. How inconsiderate of the tutors. I was practically holding my breath as I scanned the names on the list... and breathed a sigh of relief when I found out my name was not on the list.

Dunno what I scored, but I'll be getting a certificate to prove that I know my commercial and company law! I'm glad not because of the cert, but because I now have more time to devote to the other subjects...

Especially since the accounting exam today was tough as nails. I skipped a 5 mark question, and STILL ran out of time... I can feel my hopes of being a high-scoring bastard ebbing away... I'm not even sure if I'll PASS this. Thank God I passed law. If I hadn't, I'd be doubly depressed knowing that I'd have to go through those 240 pages of boring law text once more...

Well, I deserve a break, so I'm gonna just chill with my guitar tonight. More studying tomorrow, followed by the ball. Wonder how THAT will go.

State of the Art World

2004-09-29T20:34:00.000+01:00

See this?

If that's art, my little sister can do just as well, if not better. Sigh, I MUST be growing old and getting out of touch with society. I just don't "get" modern art. Are artists to be praised for imitating the art style of toddlers? Or putting pieces of garbage on display?

*Scratch head*

Who Am I?

2004-09-28T21:30:00.000+01:00

Remember the story about the blind men, each groping a different part of an elephant (ahem), and giving a different interpretation to what an elephant is?

So I'm wondering to what extent this applies to us, living in a society full of "blind" observers.

Every action of ours is observed and interpreted by others. Even the act of living a life of "No Mind" (see earlier posts) will be observed and interpreted by those in the vicinity. Ironic, given that we hardly give our own actions much thought. At least, I don't.

So, I'm giving my actions some consideration now, and I wonder if those around me consider me arrogant.

Like today, for example, I was really excited to have received my two test results back (law exam results on Thursday... gulp), and given that my goal over the coming years is to be among the top in class, if not the region, I was asking those I have observed to be more intelligent than I for their results. Only to find that my scores were higher than theirs.

With hindsight, this action of mine could have been interpreted as trying to "show-off" my results... and the action of posting this thought on the web, a confirmation of my arrogance, my wish to make known my superior intellect, etc...

But geez, I swear, I'm just a normal (ex) graduate, trying to make life better for myself, and to "atone" for my dismal university results. I'm also being paid to study this time, and I see no reason not to.

Ah well, such is life. Montaigne was right: we dare not or can not make those around us understand us, so we write about ourselves, and hope that somewhere out there, a reader does.

Er... yeah. Why?

2004-09-26T23:05:00.000+01:00

There I was in Moss Bros, trying out a smart three-button jacket, looking for a tux to hire when the couple before me turns and asks me "Are you working at Big Ass Company?" Stunned, I turn around and reply with a half-cocked eyebrow "Er... yeah. Why?"

Turns out they work there too.

See, I'm hiring the tux for a flashy end-of-year ball in a flashy five star hotel, but whereas I told the sales clerk to put the hire down for Friday, the couple before me had put the order down for Saturday.

Confusion ensued as we tried calling our friends to confirm the date. I ended up being right, and they thanked me for being there :) A few minutes later, I found out they've been working at the company for over 6 years; the woman works in my division. So we agreed to meet again at the ball.

Guess that's a bit of a relief, I'll have some familiar faces to "bump" into on Friday night. I thought I'd be standing around a corner, sipping champagne and feigning an aura of mystery and aloofness, when I'm in fact desperately wanting to talk to someone :)

Law and Orders

2004-09-23T18:29:00.000+01:00

Wahey! Just completed my Law Assessment today, dunno what I'll get, but I'm pretty sure I'll pass. Still, Sod's Law may yet apply...

Exams aside, I've hardly got enough time to shi-... er, use the toilet. I've got revision and college work up to my ears! I REALLY want to chill out today... REALLY want to just kick back and relax... play some guitar... play some Sims 2... BUT, I have classes tomorrow, and homework due for tomorrow, and I've barely scratched the needed reading material to complete this work. Sigh... long night ahead.

Oh, just found out who my first client is... and now, I'll spend sleepless nights wondering how wonderfully I'll cock up once October rolls along. What fun.

Silence of the Sheep

2004-09-19T18:17:00.000+01:00

Lame title, I know.

But it does relate to my blog's unchanging state over the last few days, so what the heck, I'll use it anyway.

Work's been crazy... or rather, studies. Never studied this hard at uni...which probably explains my less-than-stellar results. I mean, I've been cramming so much information into my head, I'm actually getting slight headaches. Amazing stuff.

As a result, I took Friday and Saturday night off, indulging myself with a brand new copy of The Sims 2. I should take screenshots and post it up here (coz I'm such a geek), but a combination of laziness and restrictive time schedules prevent me from doing so. But I digress. Sims 2 is FUN.

I have to say though, it is VERY similar to the first game... not that it's a bad thing; the first game was great after all. But I just LOVE the teeny toddlers crawling and stumbling round the house... the expressions on the parents' faces when their little babies say their names... all the little details just make this game awesome. The closest thing to playing God. Ever.

Anyway, I better crawl back into the books. Exams on Thursday. *Shudder*

Anger

2004-09-14T23:18:00.000+01:00

Anger is a dangerous emotion. It's like fire... volatile, all-consuming, easy to feed, and ultimately destructive.

I consider myselft to be a generally composed, even laid back, person. But yester-eve, I got into a huge row with my dad. Huge. I never felt so intensely pissed off before... I could literally feel the veins in my head pulsing as we argued. The thing is, I can hardly remember how it started... I know it's trivial, and I apologized later (even though I knew that I wasn't wrong) but I can't help but feel that this is going to bury deep within me. And that it'll get ugly later.

I now know why children ultimately move away from their parents. Sometimes, in order to keep loving them, you have to avoid them. The generation gap grows wider with every year we grow older.

The strange thing is, I was only trying to keep the family together. Now, I only want to leave. Weird how things turn out.

No Mind

2004-09-11T01:46:00.000+01:00

An unlikely quote from an unlikely film, used in an unlikely situation, provides an epiphany worth blogging about.

"No Mind" is a quote from the film "The Last Samurai."

Basically, in one scene, the protagonist is trying to learn how to use the katana, and fails quite amusingly... until he adheres to the advice given to him by another samurai: "No mind." He was paying too much attention to what others thought of him, what others did, what his enemy is thinking, where the enemy's sword is, where his sword is, etc... too much to think about!

No Mind.

And I think it's a philosophy I should adopt in my life. I mind too much. I hold back questions, actions, words, and emotions because I mind what others would think or say if I did this, or that, or said something untoward.

No mind.

Say what I want. Do what I want. Live how I want. Clean, and simple! "No Mind!"

In fact, I've been trying out that philosophy after the "Pen Saga." "No mind," I told myself, and apologized to her in public. "No mind," I said to myself, and publicly voiced questions, doubts, etc, during tutorials in front of 40 peers. "No mind," I repeated as I stayed back to revise, and to do some advance work while most of my peers left.

And today, I'm happy as a sausage. "No mind" meant that I was happily chatting away with several very interesting gals after work, persuading bouncers to let me into a pub free, getting extra food for my table... it was actually quite amazing!

Yeah. No Mind. It works.

The Cramming Begins

2004-09-09T19:44:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was such a bad day, I couldn't even post my blog! Furthermore, I discovered the pretty girl DID NOT steal my pen... it was rolled up in some wires that came with my new laptop. Doh.

Imagine my embarrassment when I apologized to her this morning. Of course, I didn't do it sheepishly, I did it publicly and honestly... not that it helps. What in the world came over me yesterday?

Anyway, today was a much better day. I had to cram about 100 pages of worth of information into my head in about 7 hours, but at least I understood what I was doing throughout the whole time.

It's a bit scary though... I had pre-reading material to prepare me for the influx of information... and so could just about keep ahead of the tutor... I can't imagine how it must be like to have gone in without pre-reading. The lessons were fast and furious... barely enough time to absorb an "Important Concept" and we were on to the next. Phew!

Still, was good to have 2 friends stay back with me... equally hungry for a position within the top 10 of excelling students. I must remember to keep this hunger going... even through the bad patches. ESPECIALLY through the bad patches.

Ok, better hit the books for a bit. Those who wait don't get awards. Or something.

A Not-So-Good Day

2004-09-08T19:40:00.000+01:00

Wow, am I in a foul mood today. Many reasons... let's see...

1. Early start.
2. Exhausting day.
3. Information overload.
4. Traffic jam on the way to work.
5. Traffic jam on the way back.
6. Pretty girl stole my pen.

Yes, the last one is particularly petty, but aren't foul days made up of teeny annoying things that occur throughout the day? Well, what happened was... I brought two pens to work. As the day progressed, had to move places several times, which is when I suspect I "lost" my pen. Pretty girl was sitting by my side both times, so when I noticed at the end of the day that she was holding a pen looking VERY MUCH like mine, I asked her very politely if it was mine. She said it was hers. Fine. I've rummaged through my stuff, I'm damned sure it's mine. Bah, I've become a scrooge. What the hell do I care about some stupid pen??? Hmm, maybe I'm just subconciously pissed off that the pretty girl doesn't seem too attracted to me. Oh well, more evidence of the opacity of human psychology...

What next? Ah, my exhausted state. Damn, if today wasn't a tiring day... so much to learn, so much to do, and hardly enough time to soak anything in. I definitely need an effective method to de-stress... gym? Martial arts? How the heck am I going to do these activities when I feel completely drained after work?

Oh waitaminute, I can't even publish my blogs properly. Weird day.

Heck, I'm even tired of complaining.

Well, tomorrow I'm going to have an even earlier start. And I'm pretty sure the stuff I'm learning tomorrow will be far more exhausting than today. Wahey. You can probably feel the enthusiasm oozing out of every word I've written. Right.Things will get better. One day. I hope.

Day 2

2004-09-07T20:20:00.000+01:00

A new found friend picked me up from home today, and we went to work together. Cool guy with an Oxford PhD, switched to finance too. Prolly will go to work with him the rest of this week. I feel a little guilty for inconveniencing him... but my place is in between our workplace and his place. And he gets reimbursed for the fuel costs...

Need to learn to drive. Almost a requirement for the job. Gotta get the loan ASAP.

Noticed quite an imbalance in the intake: 78% male! Oh well, less distractions I suppose. Anyway, gotta go through some reading material. Maybe I'll have time to write more later.

I'm Now a GDP Contributor

2004-09-06T20:12:00.000+01:00

On Work.

Tax rates in the UK are atrocious! Not that I know what tax rates in other countries are like... I just felt like ranting! I mean, geez, 30% of my salary goes to the freakin' government! And I'm hardly making ends meet myself! Grr...

Still, today was an AWESOME day. First day at work, first encounters with loads of people all across London... although I now wish I mingled a bit more. At the time, I just felt like getting to know my future colleagues better, hence didn't get to know many people from other regions of London. Now, I'm thinking maybe getting a few external contacts would have been pretty helpful from a social point of view. Ah well... spilt milk, crying, and all that.

The events held by this Big Global Company were top notch too. I didn't know team painting could be so much fun. Will put up a picture of our team's efforts once I get it. So fun!

The people I met were extremely cool, and easy to talk to. The cynical part of me realizes that everyone's just putting on a mask... but heck, if they can keep these masks on while we work together, we'll have a fantastic time.

We got good champagne at the end of the day too... what a way to end it! All in all, I'm very impressed, and very proud to have got this job. The cynical me wonders how long this will last. Hmm.

Something else.

On a separate note, a kind soul sent me a Gmail invite (after I unashamedly asked for one). Check out her blog at http://cedia.blogspot.com. I now have a Gmail account! Woohoo! Thank you, Cedia!

20 Hours Left

2004-09-05T11:50:00.000+01:00

Argh! The excitement is killing me! My personal headline reads "Graduate About to Enter the Real World!" Yea, sure, it's happening to millions of people out there... but that doesn't change how I feel!

Let's see... got my suit ready. Suitcase's packed, jukebox charged, mobile charged... great. Hmm, holes in most of my socks, gotta buy new pairs. May need a couple new suits too. Will use a part of the loan to cover these purchases.

Hmm, taking a quick glance at my Xbox and PS2, I know I will miss their company *sniff.* It's a chicken and egg paradox though... If I don't work, I won't have the money to purchase and play games. When I play games, I wish I didn't have to work. Oh well.

I will miss my guitar too... then again, I may find new people to jam with! Oh well, mixed feelings all-in-all. More money but less leisure time.

See, this isn't just a 9-5 job. The next three years involve a whole lot of studying too, it's part of my contract. So I'll be working 9-5, and spending a big part of my leisure time studying too. Hence, I'll definitely need to cutback on other activities... anyway, I'll find out over the coming weeks!

Anxiety Mixed With Outrage

2004-09-03T18:21:00.000+01:00

Outrage.

I feel outraged because it happened: the siege ended in bloodshed.

I expected it to, but it doesn't make the reality easier to accept. However, I don't understand how some people can actually blame the Russian government for the end result. Again, I expected this, but I still cannot understand the rational behind such accusations. I mean, the terrorists killed off the adults and the injured, refused pleas for hostage swaps, refused the admission of food and water... did anyone actually expect a peaceful resolution to this? Did anyone actually think the terrorists would accept concessions or make compromises? Did anyone actually think the terrorists would be reasonable???

Anxiety.

I feel anxious because I shall begin work in a few days. So much rides on my performance at work... it's tough being the sole breadwinner in the house... especially when one is responsible for unemployed parents, and 3 other siblings. Sigh. My dad needs to get his act together, and soon. I can't be expected to fulfill his responsibilities... I want to have a life of my own too, and not spend it patching up his life. Selfish? Yes, but when I see almost every cent I earn going into bills that ought to be settled by my father, I can't help feeling a little resentful...

Still, I try to put my problems in a global perspective... it's really nothing compared to the anguish that the victims of the siege are feeling. My heart goes out to them this night.

True Terror

2004-09-01T22:54:00.000+01:00

This hostage taking is a truly terrifying act.

Will terrorists ever consider anything too immoral to fulfill their goals? What drives these people to such cruel measures? It certainly isn't religion in this case, as the likely perpetrators are Chechen rebels. Can independence truly be worth the cost of the lives of children? Humanity stoops ever lower in its struggle to kill itself.

What to do now? Send in their SAS equivalent (Spetznaz?), and risk the lives of innocent children? Give in to their demands, thus sparing the kids, but encouraging the repeat of these attacks in future? Negotiation is obviously unavoidable... but how long before frayed nerves result in lost lives?

All I can say is, I hate these Chechen rebels now, and any sympathy I might have had with their cause has evaporated into disgust. Give in to their demands, I say, let them walk out, let them think they are free, and kill them when they least expect it. It won't solve the long term problem of Chechnya, but it'd sure as hell make me feel better. Bastards.

Read Eats, Shoots, and Leaves?

2004-08-31T21:08:00.000+01:00

If I were a tyrannical despot in some third world country, I'd lock up every one of my citizens with only water, and this book to read. EVERYONE who uses the Net ought to read this book:

"Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss.

Yes, I'm one of the punctuation sticklers too. I admit, I don't always get my punctuation right, but I do put in the effort to get it right... it's just courtesy! I hate how lazy people simply say "well i'ts goood enuofh iff u cn unstand whut im' sa'ying." Why should the reader have to put up with terrible grammar, punctuation, spelling, and all the rest of it? It's the author's responsibility to help the reader understand what is written!

Anyway, out of curiosity, I began looking at other readers' comments about the book on Amazon's site. There's this particularly supercilious critic, I forget his name (it was a "he," apparently one of the top 1000 reviewers, no less), saying how the author of the book missed the point: that the title refers to a sexual joke, not a punctuation joke. He seems to think his sexual joke is funnier than the punctuation joke. I disagree. I'd tell him to his face too, but I can't be bothered to register, login, find him, and write to him. So I'll rant here instead.

Of War and Peace

2004-08-29T20:57:00.000+01:00

Quite a lot happened today while I was busy doing nothing.

There's the explosion in Kabul.

Strange eh? This is a country apparently rid of terrorist elements. Liberated. At least Iraq still has a huge contingent of US troops watching its back. Poor Afghanistan. With the UK and US both stretched in Iraq, and the French staunchly anti-action, its cries for foreign help are likely to fall on deaf ears again. I hope I'm wrong.

There's Greg Dyke's bitterness.

Well, anti-war supporters will be rallying to his side. Look at their behaviour thus far. Accuse the government of "sexing up" documents. Demand an inquiry into this issue. Hype up the fact that the government is sure to fall. Disappointed when inquiry clears government. Immediately denounce inquiry as whitewash, questioning the integrity of inquiry team. Second inquiry launched. Repeat of previous inquiry. Anti-war supporters convinced of conspiracy despite lack of any evidence to their claims. Shows how irrational people can choose to be.

There's the French hostage crisis.

Hmm. Now I certainly didn't think this would happen. They have publicly and stubbornly opposed the war in Iraq. Goes to show that terrorists don't really care. They just want to blow things up and kill people. Become a martyr to sleep with 700 virgins in heaven and all that. Religion. Go figure. Still, I'm pretty sure the journalists will be spared. The Muslim leaders in France have told the hostage takers to stick their noses elsewhere.

Other than that, covered professional ethics today. Still having trouble remembering. At least I've done my first run through all my preparatory material. Will attempt reinforcement learning over the coming week.

Full time employment in 8 days. Excitement building. I imagine this excitement will quickly peter out once I realize how dull working life is... Until then, I'll remain optimistic and naive!

Ruminations on Regulations and Responsibilities

2004-08-28T20:50:00.000+01:00

Argh. My head hurts.

There are (probably) two kinds of people in this world: those who are good at memorizing facts; and those who are good at understanding facts. The question is: which is the faster method of learning? I think it's the former...

I have this friend who is blessed with the ability to memorize facts effortlessly. We go to a lecture on Neural Computing then come back with wads of notes. I spend hours shifting through them trying to understand what it is I'm reading before I can actually commit anything to memory. He does the opposite, and it works great for him. He may not understand at first, but repeated use of his memorized facts across various contexts helps reinforce his knowledge. I'm envious.

Anyway, I've moved from a scientific world into the financial world. And boy, do I need memory skills. I mean, the amount of regulatory facts one has to memorize, who is supposed to do what, where and when... who is not supposed to do whatever... I imagine lawyers must have it worse...

And you know what makes me sweat? This is only "pre-reading material" to help me "familiarize" myself with the concepts I will be taught once September rolls by... Oh boy. I miss computer science.

Toe-ing the waters...

2004-08-27T21:32:00.000+01:00

What causes one to blog? What compels one to write about oneself, feeling a confused mixture of not wanting others (immediate friends, family) to know, and yet wanting others (complete strangers. That's you, bub) to know about the inane going ons in one's life?

In my case, I want a G-mail invite. I've heard from friends that they got an invite through this blogging thingy, so here I am, unashamedly on the bandwagon, keeping my fingers crossed for that alluring 1 Gb of cyber-space.

See, this is a case of elitist pressure. Only a select few have G-mail accounts. I want to be one of the few. I want to be l33t. Ahem. Pardon the 13 year old mentality.

So what's new in my life? Well, after almost a year of searching, I've finally landed myself a job. A good one too. Got the offer about 2 months ago, have been going through all sorts of reading material in preparation. It's exciting to finally start work. Especially since 90% of my mates are already in full time employment since graduation. There we go, peer pressure again! I've got to break out of this need to conform!

Still, to all those still job hunting and reading this, I'd just like to say "keep your chin up!" I know how hard it can be after countless interviews/assessment centres, phone calls, applications, etc... There are times when you just feel like giving up. Things do get better eventually, though. Just keep trying. And don't spend so much time blogging :)